As a mom, I watch my children grow and change: gangly limbs bursting out of outgrown clothes, Barbies and dump trucks traded for iphones and Xbox. Each day that their eyes open is different from the last. They are different people from who they were the day before, for good or bad. I do sometimes want to seize them up in my arms and transport them back to early times, when balls were toys of never-ending fascination and snuggles were readily obtained. They change. And like every parent sadly knows, they take another step towards leaving.
This poem by John Berryman explores the ephemeral nature of childhood. The ball represents so many things beyond a simple ball. It's every aspect of youthful purity and hope. Berryman himself lost his innocence at a rather young age when his father died quite tragically. He clearly understands what it means to lose his "ball" and become a man too soon.
A powerful poem.... enjoy.
The Ball Poem
John Berryman
What is the boy now, who has lost his ball.
What, what is he to do? I saw it go
Merrily bouncing, down the street, and then
Merrily over—there it is in the water!
No use to say 'O there are other balls':
An ultimate shaking grief fixes the boy
As he stands rigid, trembling, staring down
All his young days into the harbour where
His ball went. I would not intrude on him,
A dime, another ball, is worthless. Now
He senses first responsibility
In a world of possessions. People will take balls,
Balls will be lost always, little boy,
And no one buys a ball back. Money is external.
He is learning, well behind his desperate eyes,
The epistemology of loss, how to stand up
Knowing what every man must one day know
And most know many days, how to stand up
And gradually light returns to the street,
A whistle blows, the ball is out of sight.
Soon part of me will explore the deep and dark
Floor of the harbour . . I am everywhere,
I suffer and move, my mind and my heart move
With all that move me, under the water
Or whistling, I am not a little boy.
John Berryman, "The Ball Poem" from Collected Poems, 1937-1971. Copyright © 1989 by John Berryman. Used by permission of Farrar, Straus & Giroux, LLC, www.fsgbooks.com. All rights reserved.
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